Is every night at home the same? Is everyone tired? Perhaps your family is struggling with how to balance work, school and activities. Try a couple of these quick tips for juggling the various schedules and to spend some quality time together.
Create a family night. The solution is simple and can create memories to last a lifetime. Some suggestions are a movie night, takeout night, game night or a family walk night. The key is that you pick one night each week that is designated for together time. Relax and talk with each other! You might be surprised the things you learn from your kids on your family night.
Enjoy and interact with your children’s friends. Yes, really! Letting kids “hang out” at your place gives you valuable insight into what interests and motivates your own children as well as understanding the “crowd” they are associating with. And don’t forget that many child experts indicate that free time for play and social interaction can be better for a child’s development than too many organized or structured activities.
Let your children choose their interests and not you. Too many well-meaning parents want their kids to have more than they did as a child so they sign them up for activities they’re truly not at all interested in or good at, which then leads to conflicts and power struggles. It’s another issue altogether if your child constantly begs to sign up for activities and then wants to quit, but kids at even a young age develop certain interests and dreams that they want to pursue. Most likely it won’t be the same dreams you had! Be careful to choose your battles and accommodate activity requests where practical.
Consider the commitment when making decisions. More and more activities are emphasizing additional practices and time requirements in today’s competitive world. You as the parent have to decide if a particular activity is appropriate for your child.
Determine your child’s commitment as well. If your kid says an activity “might” be fun, avoid committing to a full season or year. Not only could it present a problem for your child if he/she doesn’t like it, but will infringe on the other players/members participating in the activity. If a team needs a certain number of players, a last-minute pullout could cause an impact on everyone else. Instead, consider signing your child up for a mini-camp or short session. If your child loves it, then you can always seek something more in the future.
Assign family responsibilities. If everyone in the family is participating in some type of activity, then general household chores may be harder to get accomplished due to lack of time. Have a family meeting and explain that in order to do these enrichment activities/sports/music, everyone will have to pitch in to make sure the clothes still get washed, dishes done and table cleared. If you set expectations up front, any grumbling will be minimized.
Watch for signs of being overextended and adjust schedules as needed. If your kid’s grades starting plummeting or you get a note that says Emma often falls asleep after mid-morning snack, you may be asking too much of them. Keep in mind a child’s age, personality and true interest in making decisions.
Encourage the “all for one and one for all” concept. “A family that plays together, stays together” is the message. Also encourage your kids to support each other’s activities and endeavors.
Above all, keep family first! Keeping your priorities straight will ensure a happier, better-adjusted family. This also applies to mom and dad. Yes, the kids are the ones doing the majority of the activities, but I am now starting to see burnout from parents who are running the kids here and there. Mom and dad need to spend a little time doing something that interests them.
So remember that parents shouldn’t push their youth into something they don’t want to do and youth shouldn’t have every waking hour of their lives planned. Youth and parents both need some down time. Make family activities a priority and keep everyone involved.
To learn more about the 4-H Program, contact Marla Lowder, UAF Cooperative Extension Service, Tanana District 4-H Agent, at 907-474-2427 or mklowder@alaska.edu
The Cooperative Extension Service is part of the University of Alaska Fairbanks, working in cooperation with the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
Ronda L. Boswell, Administrative Assistant UAF Cooperative Extension Service Tanana District P.O. Box 758155 Fairbanks, AK 99775-8155
724 27th Ave., Suites 2 & 3 907-474-1530